After being in tune with your aloneness, you can relate; then your relationship will bring great joys to you…OSHO
This whole effort — whether of relationships or remaining busy in a thousand and one things — is just to escape from the idea that you are lonely.
And I want it to be emphatically clear to you that this is where the meditator and the ordinary man part.
The ordinary man goes on trying to forget his loneliness, and the meditator starts getting more and more acquainted with his aloneness.
He has left the world; he has gone to the caves, to the mountains, to the forest, just for the sake of being alone. He wants to know who he is. In the crowd, it is difficult; there are so many disturbances.
And those who have known their aloneness have known the greatest blissfulness possible to human beings — because your very being is blissful.
After being in tune with your aloneness, you can relate; then your relationship will bring great joys to you, because it is not out of fear. Finding your aloneness you can create, you can be involved in as many things as you want, because this involvement will not anymore be running away from yourself. Now it will be your expression; now it will be the manifestation of all that is your potential.
Only such a man — whether he lives alone or lives in the society, whether he marries or lives unmarried makes no difference — is always blissful, peaceful, silent. His life is a dance, is a song, is a flowering, is a fragrance. Whatever he does, he brings his fragrance to it.
But the first basic thing is to know your aloneness absolutely.
This escape from yourself you have learned from the crowd. Because everybody is escaping, you start escaping. Every child is born in a crowd and starts imitating people; what others are doing, he starts doing. He falls into the same miserable situations as others are in, and he starts thinking that this is what life is all about. And he has missed life completely.