Fear to move into relationship…OSHO
A sannyasin says she feels a lot of fear. She is not in a relationship and feels fear to move into one. She feels better when she is not in a relationship.
My feeling is that the fear is right. Your energy enjoys being alone better. You should not fight with the fear. That fear is indicating the right path for you. At this moment your energy needs to be left alone to yourself, hence the fear is coming. Fear is not always wrong, remember. Nothing is always wrong; it depends. People have such ideas that fear is always wrong — it is not. Yes, sometimes it is wrong, sometimes it is not. Nothing is always right-and nothing is always wrong; everything depends on the context.
Right now your fear is perfectly right — it simply says to you 'Don't get involved'; hence the fear arises. It is not the fear of the new, not at all; that is a misinterpretation. It is simply fear that if you get entangled in energy, somebody else's energy, you will lose the centering which is growing. You are becoming more centered, you are settling more in your being. You are coming to terms with your aloneness and if you fall into a relationship that will be dragging yourself out. Your movement is inwards; a relationship will take you out and that will create a contradiction. Hence the fear. The fear is really helpful — it-is showing you not to be foolish.
Remain alone. When the fear disappears move into relationship, then it will be perfectly right. It will disappear — when its time is gone, when you have settled, when the energy is exactly as it should be inside, then one can afford to go out. First one has to settle inside, then it is easy to go outside, it is not a distraction. In fact it becomes an enhancement of the inner because of the contrast. It becomes a little holiday from the inner but you always come back. Then it is not destructive, it is creative. Then love helps meditation.
So simply wait. Listen to your fear and don't repress it. It will disappear on its own. When the energy is ready to go out, you will suddenly see one day that you are moving with somebody and there is no fear at all — your whole being is with you. When that happens then move into relationship.