Love is good — with whom it happens doesn’t matter …OSHO
Man is aware but the awareness is negative. Then there are happy people, cheerful people — their awareness is positive; that has to be earned. Very few people come to that. And even more rare is the third, where positive and negative both disappear. One simply is — neither sad nor happy, just calm and quiet and cool.
Awareness is the natural state of humanity; that is where you are. Don't make much fuss about it — everyone is at that point. If you make much fuss about it, it becomes more difficult to get out of it. Rather than focussing your whole attention on it, try to find ways to get out of it. Whatsoever makes you happy, do it! And don't be in any way inhibited.
My feeling is: because your love affair has dwindled, you are focussed on sadness and you are not gathering enough courage to move with somebody else. You go on clinging, you go on hoping, but the relationship has dwindled. And once a relationship has fallen flat it is very very difficult to help it to stand again. At the most it can walk but it will walk on crutches; it cannot dance. It is a broken mirror; you can glue it together but it can never be the same again. But there is no need to be worried, because so many other mirrors are available.
So the real problem is there. And there you are afraid — you are even afraid to move with somebody, to fall in some love, afraid that then you will lose [your husband] forever. So you are stuck. That is your choice. Love will make you a little happier than you are, a little less sad at least. And then you will again have a little thrill in life.
The positive awareness needs some work, and love is one of the greatest things that helps to bring it. So as much love as one can afford one has to go into. Creativity helps, small things help. Go and dance, sing, play some instrument, paint, or whatsoever work you are doing, put your total energy into it, pour yourself into it — these small things. And then small joys — meeting a friend, gossipping, chit-chatting, going to a musical concert… just small things.
But what happens is that when you are not in love all these things look futile. When you are in love all these things look meaningful. So love gives you the perspective, and that is missing. If love is missing you will become more and more sad, and the more sad you are, the more you will become unavailable to people. People won't approach you because they want to love a happy person. Who wants to get involved with a sad and unhappy and heavy person? Nobody wants to — people are sad enough on their own. They want somebody who will bring a little cheerfulness in their life.
So there is a problem: when people are sad, nobody loves them, nobody approaches them; they repel people. When they repel people, they feel more sad; they think 'Nobody loves me.' But they are the cause of it! Why should anybody love you if you are sad? If he can find a better person, he will find a better person. If he cannot find anybody then only…. So you are becoming sad clinging to a relationship which is no more there, still hoping against hope, becoming more and more miserable, and destroying all bridges to other people.
Open up all the doors. Love is good — with whom it happens doesn't matter — because love gives you a jump into positive awareness. And with love many things start becoming meaningful. Then you can sing, you can dance, you can go out. Your life starts moving; there is something to look forward to and everything fits together. Love functions as a centre and all the pieces that were falling apart suddenly are no more falling apart; they become one unity. Love becomes a magnetic force and everything comes together. That togetherness is positive.
from Darshan dairy :
The Madman's Guide to Enlightenment