WHEN I FEEL DEEP LOVE I FEEL SAD AT THE SAME TIME. WHY?
Real love always brings sadness. It is inevitable — because love creates a space which opens new doors to your being. Love brings a twilight situation.
In the moment of love you can see what is unreal and what is real. In the moment of love you can see what is meaningless, what is meaningful, and at the same time you see you are rooted in the meaningless — hence sadness. In the moment of love you become aware of your ultimate potential, you become aware of the farthest peak, but you are not there — hence sadness.
You see a vision but it is a vision, and within a moment it will be gone. It is as if God has spoken to you in a dream and when you are awake you miss it. You know something has happened but it has not become a reality. It was just a passing breeze.
If love does not create sadness then know well it is not love. Love is bound to create sadness — the greater the love, the greater will be the sadness in the wake of it.
Love opens the door to God. Two hearts come close, very, very close, but in that very closeness they can see the separation — that is the sadness. When you are far away you cannot see it so clearly. You know you are separate but when you desire to be one with somebody and you long for it and there is great passion for it and you come close and you come close and then comes a moment when you are very, very close but beyond which you cannot go, you are stuck — suddenly you become sad. The goal is so close by and yet it is beyond reach.
If you want it to become an eternal reality for you then love itself is not enough — then prayer will be needed. Love makes you aware of this need — and unless you start moving in prayer, love will create more and more sadness.
Sometimes after love you will fall into a deep frustrating night. Those who have not known love have not known the real misery, they have not known the real anguish. They live a flat kind of life. They have not known the peaks so they are not aware of the valleys. They have not reached to the maximum so they think that whatsoever they are doing is what life is supposed to be like. In love for a moment you become that which you should be. But it is only momentary.
You cannot become one in love. You can only have an illusion of becoming one. And that is the great desire — how to be one, how to be one with the whole, how to fall in rapport with reality, how to disappear utterly. Because if you are, there is misery; if you are, there is anguish; if you are, there is anxiety. The very ego creates the problem. When you melt and disappear, when you become one, there is nobody left behind.
You are just a wave in this eternal ocean of existence. You don't have a centre of your own; the centre of the whole has become your centre. Then anxiety disappears, then anguish disappears, then the potential has become actual. This is what is called enlightenment, this is what is called nirvana or God-realisation.
Love is moving in the same direction, but it can only promise, it cannot fulfil. It cannot deliver the goods — hence the sadness. You feel you are coming very close to the point where you can disappear and yet you don't disappear. Again you start falling away from your beloved. Again and again you will come close and again and again you will fall back into your aloneness. But you will never become one. And unless you become one, ecstasy is not possible.
OSHO