You have to surrender, and the ego cannot surrender, it can only fight….OSHO
The mind is always against surrendering. That is why as the mind has become more prominent, all dimensions of surrender have disappeared. This century suffers because this century cannot surrender. This is the problem. This is the basis, the crux of the modern mind — and you go on asking: How can I love?
The mind cannot love. The mind can go to war, that is easy, but the mind cannot move into love, that is impossible. Because in a war the mind can exist, it can function well; but in love, mind has to surrender.
Love means giving power to the other over yourself, and you are afraid. It means the other becomes so important, so much more important than you that if a crisis comes you would sacrifice yourself for your lover. The lover is enthroned — you are just a servant, you are just a shadow. This is difficult for the mind.
That is why love is not possible and even sex becomes impossible. Because even in sex a moment comes when you have to lose yourself — only then can the orgasm happen, only then can the whole body be filled with a new energy, with new vibrations, with bio-electricity. It can become a vibrant, radiant flow — you lose yourself. But even that is not possible.
Ejaculation is not orgasm, it is just the physical part of it. Orgasm is psychic, it is spiritual. Ejaculation is just futile, it can relieve the body, that's all. It works as a safety valve: when there is too much energy you can release it through ejaculation, but that is not the real thing. The real thing is when you come to a peak of vibrancy, you come to a peak of ecstasy, and from that peak everything relaxes, your whole being relaxes.
First the whole being vibrates with a new music — it is in tune with the cosmos, the ego is not there, you are just energy; there is nobody inside, just energy moving like a river in flood — and then the flood goes, the river relaxes, and you are in tune with the whole cosmos. Then it is orgasm. Orgasm is an inner phenomenon.
But orgasm has become impossible and because of the lack of orgasm ninety per cent of the people are neurotic in a subtle way. This is because you have lost the easiest approach to the Divine. You have lost the natural possibility of being one, even for moments, with the Whole. And the Whole rejuvenates, the Whole gives you life and energy, the Whole refreshes you. And the old is destroyed by the orgasm, your whole energy becomes new, fresh and young. Otherwise you go on becoming dull and dead.
But this has become impossible because of the ego. The problem is the same, whether it is in the dimension of sex, or of love, or of prayer, or of meditation — the problem is the same. You have to surrender, and the ego cannot surrender, it can only fight.